THE BOYS TOP MOST PROBLEMS

Hey folks! I believe you must have heard about the 8-year old Alec Greven from US of A. Believe me just at the age of eight his self-help book “How to talk to girls” has become a rage over there, so much so that it is even supposed to be made into a major motion picture at the Hollywood. But that’s fair in USA as the IQ of general public is not much different from the eight years olds. So, on a lazily Sunday morning it inspired even me “Well! If of all the people in world an 8 year old can write a book on how to talk to gals, man, I don’t want to lag behind.
Girls, Girls & Girls- What else can be the most important problem of guys. From the days of Adam & Eve, guys are trying to figure out gals but still to no avail. I am surely the least qualified person to advise anybody on gals. It is same as if asking Brad Pitt what he thinks about the bhojpuri films. But chalo, if Mandira bedi can feature on a cricket show, then, I am the Albert Einstein of gals.
NOTE: I suggest that you must go ahead only if you believe I must have an IQ more than Alec Greven & more importantly if you really don’t have nothing else to do right now.

So fasten your seat belts & hold on:

PROBLEM# 1: How to approach a girl: Internet: Nah! Too public, Letter: Nah! Too tacky, Personally: only if you are a non-self respecting guy & ready for any kind of insult by the girl ranging from yells to even slaps. We left with one choice then MOBILE. Just give a call & say to gal “suno dil ki baat; airtel ke saath” Phones have too many advantages also i.e. the gal can not come out & slap you out of a phone for how much clumsy you can get. No body else can listen to the latest gaaliyan being hurled on you. So that’s the way to go.

PROBLEM#2: You are really very free to still reading on.
What should be the approach towards gals? There are many mis-conceptions about that. You can have a look.
Girls like straight-forward guys: What a blunder? What does that mean just go to a girl & say “hey I am a straight-forward guy & aja meri gaadi mein baith ja.” What if gal also likes to be straight-forward & she comes forward & slaps you on your straight face. So boys, just hang around the gal for 1-2 months & then come to the point. Never be straight forward.
Girls like honest men: For that to be true, none of our politicians, police personnel & PWD officers would ever get married. How can you be honest & tell a gal “Well I am a totally loser guy & have achieved nothing in my life. I know that is true for you also so why not both of us losers just join each other & hope we can churn out a winner.” Never ever be honest & just rumble useless things about the intelligence & beauty of the girl. You can check out the Yash Chopra movies for visual experience on that.
Girls don’t like gifts: Don’t believe that scene of some tacky Hindi movie heroine saying to the hero “Yeh gift main apse kaise le sakti hun” Remember that heroine has got lot of money to say that on screen. Instead you can use a lot of gifts such as flowers, chocolates {Prefer them, they are cheap} latest clothing, jewellery {only if your father has lot of spare money & you don’t know where to put it}. I am pretty confident if you use them well you can reap not only the cost but lot of rewards out of them
Girls don’t like desperate men: No that’s not true. Just show the gal you are such a desperado. I am saying just show, that doesn’t mean you got to become one. Your desperation can nourish the egoistic mind set of a gal that she is the local Jennifer Aniston {girl in demand}. You just have to convince her that she is that “Chaudvin ka chand” & man you are right on track.

PROBLEM#3: When to propose a girl: Now that is surely a huge problem. It is very much easy to understand the theory of relativity than understanding a girl’s mind. Remember Einstein got the most intelligent brain but still he could only become a scientist & not a playboy or stud. So here you could only trust your instinct & let me tell you out of 100 only 2 or 3 manly instincts are right about gals. That is also the success rate of human proposals. In animals the scenario is really different, even their males have not got brains unlike humans where this problem is limited to females only. So believe your instinct man & hope that you are lucky one of 2-3 successes.

PROBLEM#4: So you proposed & girl said yes. Do you think this is end of problems? My boy, that’s the very beginning. Firstly you were just pursuing the girl but now you got to be with her & that is the most difficult part. You’ll have to face the problems even larger than the Captain of Indian Cricket team. I can sample lot of them:
i. The proportion of the gifts has to be raised exponentially.
ii. Party Time with friends has to be seriously cut down
iii. Face the Comments like you are such a self-centered, un-understanding, male-chauvinist moron
iv. There is the whole package: you got to bear even her family members
v. You got to say all the pampering words you can think of e.g. sweetie, cutie & on & on
vi. You got to become a woman-respecting, self-disciplined man overnight

These are just to quote a bit of the whole set of problems. If you can cope-up with all of them & still get going, believe me you have the potential to start a company even bigger than Microsoft dudes! You must be seriously free to read whole of my pain-in-the-neck article. So if you are desperate enough & can trust a novice like me, go ahead & work upon these ideas. May God bless you!